The Legend of Zelda

This game has really special meaning to me.

Not only because it is one of the greatest franchise of all video games, but the memory I treasure and share with my sister. When I was in elementary school, we used to spend our summer playing one of the Zelda game, the link to the past. I played the game, and she's beside me reading the walkthrough for me. It's also the only time we can peacefully get along with each other.

It's funny that I hate my sister so much when I was a little boy. She always insult me with the cruel word I could not bear. Every time, everyday, I have to call my mother who was working during the day to tell on m y sister. After I moved to Taipei for university, our relationship started to change. I think it is the separation that cause us to change. We started care about each other, very much. If there's a meter for relationship, at the left is the hatred, and right is the love, and neutral being at the middle with value of 0, then I think the number is the same but simply we put a "-" in our relationship, from negative to positive. The separation made us realize we are the members of a family and we care each other. We have to take care each other.

This year, is the harshest time for my family. All the members in the family suffered a lot. Dear sister, I thank you for being with mom and taking care of the birdies while I am abroad. I know pressure and burden are huge. I believe we will overcome the challenge and hardship. The sky will one day be clear blue. I will be your Link, and we will, both protect our home, our family.

Who am I

Relationship:
A son
A brother
A lover
A boyfriend
A grandson
A friend

Interest:
A photographer
A bird (parrot) lover
A gamer
A geek
A music lover
A basketball player
A runner
A wanderer

Work:
An advisee
A research assistant
A student
A teaching assistant

Maybe I can be everything I want.

Who knows

又有誰知道

又有誰會在意

一個生命是多麼卑微又痛苦的活著

What I have been through is nothing

I don't know what I will become in the future, because I lost my faith for future. The possible goodness of future.

I don't know what I will think when I look back to this period of my life, because overcoming this moment seems too faraway from me.

At this very moment, I feel like I am drowning in the ocean and you know what, I am not going to fight.

I simply want to let myself keep falling until I am completely dead, broke. I have no goal nor hope for the future. Future of happiness and brightness seems too far to grasp and past is too painful to look back.I just want to stay in my own small little brain, locking myself from all the negative feeling that can easily set me down, push me back, make me feel, terrible. Rotten, being forgotten, until no one in this world would think of me.

I have been thinking the meaning of "the unbearable lightness of being".

Apparently, lightness doesn't mean light; on the contrary, it implies heaviness. When I checked the implication of on the wikipedia. It says this quote means that we only have one life to live. One life, which means there will be no heaven nor after-life world. This is exactly what I think about life. So, I cannot give up. It's wrong. It violate the law of my philosophy, and I can't tolerate it because I am such a person deeply believe in my own doctrine. I will not accept these BS of giving up.

Realizing this... 

I don't want to give up because there are so many beautiful things worth seeing and experiencing. Even I cannot feel them right now, I can only tell myself there should be, there will be, there must be a bright future for me to live on. There must be something waiting for me. There must be something worth fighting.

If I failed, how can I tell the world what I believe. If I gave up, there is nothing left for me.

If I stopped fighting and my life is a movie, then it means THE END.

Now, I can only tell myself that all these things I am suffering are meant to make me become a stronger one, because I believe no one can imagine how terrible the situation is nor no one can completely understand it. I am not going to die in my cocoon. Here in the cocoon is dark, cold, lonely, and helpless. The only one can save myself from it is myself. I can only fight by myself, and fight for myself. No one will help me because it is my own battle. Face it. Overcome it. Live through it.

There will be a future. There will be ...

a heavenly future.

Be truth to your heart

I feel like i am getting stupid these years. In scientific term, my IQ is negatively correlated with my AGE.

Even in my 26th year of existence as a human being, I still not following the simplest rule of being, living, and believing. That is, be truth to your heart, be truth to what you like, to what moves you, to your passion, to what you love.

That is what I (We) care deep down in my heart, and the only way to true happiness.

emotion - notes

very unstable emotion

sometimes i feel extremely happy and optimistic, but it could easily be distressed and discouraged by small things, like pressure, or some small things that don't go as the way I thought.

When I wake up everyday in the morning, it is like gambling. Gambling with my emotion. And as you know, you lose for most of the time.

asylum here i come. what's wrong with me.

Dream

Dream seems to be a reflection of what we think and care in every day life.

It was a party in a land full of candy houses with mostly high school classmates.

Weird.